Mausea Twitchford. Week 2 Part 2

The babies are missing.
Somebody actually broke into my house, in the middle of the night whilst I was sleeping, getting past all the alarms I had in place and stole those screaming pain in proverbial babies.

Thank goodness I keep my bedroom door locked. I mean yes I knew somebody was in the house. I heard them talking. I don’t sleep well, so I was reading a few pages about making the plumbing clean itself. Fascinating stuff. But I figured they’d just steal a few a things not steal the babies.

I’ll even miss Apple playing hide and seek in the toybox when she’s meant to be getting a bath. Ok so the four of them; Apple, Watermellon, Onion and Garlic, were completely annoying. They completely mucked up my system, and my house, but still. Lets just disregard their names. I know their stupid. I may love my plants but even I wouldn’t name my babies-if I ever have any after plants.

Ned went completely off the handle. Quit his job as an astronaut leaving me to fend for myself at the base. Thankfully I’m doing well at work, I actually have my own squad to lead. How exciting is that! And a little bit scary but the bosses seem to think I’m doing a good job, so it’s not totally bad.

But he’s completely lost the plot Ned. Little Jana Loadsworth-you know the ex star athlete, now famous chef’s eldest daughter? She asked him to help find out who was using her toothbrush. I know totally stupid, but whatever.

So he went and attacked her mother, in front of her litlle sister to see if he could find out something.

And when he’s not doing that, he’s rummaging through people’s bins, or even breaking into their houses to see if he can find his daughters. I mean I understand why he’s doing it. The police aren’t exactly clamouring with leads, but still he’s just lucky the police are incompetent or he’d be landing himself in prison.

On the rare occasions he is at home, he doesn’t help around the house. No couldn’t possibly do that, he makes things out of junk he finds. Says he’ll invent something someday to help find the babies. Like that will happen.

But still. It keeps him out of the way, and somewhere where I can keep an eye on him, so he doesn’t get into trouble, whilst I try to get in better shape.

And keep the neighbours on his side, by fixing things when they break. It also doesn’t hurt that they tend to give me a little money on the side to say thank you.

Door locked? Check.
Windows shut? Check.
Lights off? Check.
Emergency escape pack under the bed? Check.
Duvet over head? Check.

Mausea Twitchford Week 2 part 1

Mausea Twitchford Week 3 part 1